Indonesian singles propose ‘marriage without dating’

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There’s nothing new about emerging generations embracing sexual mores that shock their elders. But many Indonesians, especially those with a more liberal disposition, really didn’t see this one coming. There’s a fast-growing, Gen Z subculture in the world’s largest Muslim-majority nation. It’s exactly how it sounds: a movement to eliminate premarital dating, derided as a sinful, Western ritual that will ruin your life.

These young Muslims instead want to push their island nation, long branded as religiously moderate, toward practices that more closely resemble norms in, say, Saudi Arabia. Khimar segi empat, dibuat dari bahan yang nyaman dipakai.

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But many Indonesians, especially those with a more liberal disposition, really didn’t “Indonesia Without Dating” is largely an online movement.

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Here is the quick list of my top five dating sites in Indonesia. There are a handful of really good dating websites and apps to choose from. They all have a simple interface that even my grandmother would have no trouble navigating and a good-sized membership base to make it worthwhile to elect the paid membership option. Let me start off by saying that, if you want to increase your chance of success in Indonesia, go to a big city with a large population, such as Jakarta, Surabaya, Bandung, or Medan.

Bali is also good because it is a tourist destination and attracts a lot of Indonesian women from around the country. Should you decide to sign up for the online dating sites I recommend below, be sure to read member profiles carefully as you might come across a lot of fake profiles. Usually, I can spot these profiles pretty easily.

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The year-old professor exchanged resumes with prospective suitors — helped by a Muslim cleric-cum-matchmaker — until she was contacted by a long-lost acquaintance who also wanted to give contact-less dating a whirl. There was no hand holding or kissing. But Pujiartati saw it as a way to ditch dating that went nowhere and be a devout Muslim at the same time by avoiding pre-marital touching and sex. A movement called Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran Indonesia without dating is blossoming in the Southeast Asian nation where people born from the mid-Nineties make up about one-quarter of its more than million people.

The nuptials-focused group, which has a million followers on its Instagram page alone, targets this enormous Generation-Z audience largely through social media. Any pre-marital contact should be supervised and getting married younger is ideal, according to the group, which portrays pre-marital dating as a sinful product of Western decadence. To get its message out, the group also sells branded products including hats, keychains and hijab head coverings worn by many women in Indonesia.

With dozens in the audience, the year-old denounced dating and called on attendees to break up with their partners. One young man walked on stage and broke it off with his girlfriend over the phone, eliciting cheers and clapping. Among them is the tale of Muhammad Alvin Faiz, son of a prominent pro-polygamy cleric, who married his year-old wife, a Catholic convert to Islam, through a no-contact relationship. And last year the government unsuccessfully tried to push through a criminal code overhaul, backed by conservative Islamic groups, which would have banned pre-martial sex, sparking a public outcry.

Marriage-without-dating is also a pushback against fears that two decades of democracy have broken down traditional values in a country where arranged marriage was once the norm, and still endures in some rural areas, experts said. Advocates insist the practice empowers women by giving them control over choosing a partner without feeling compelled to have sex before marriage. Critics say brief, resume-based relationships can set couples up for failure — and put women at risk.

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